Madeline is napping right now and this post is more mommy focused than Madeline focused. Just a warning ahead of time...it is a lot of rambling with not much of a point!
Well, it's a new year and that means back to the grind with my travel. I was gone all week and got home last night after Madeline was already asleep. I head off again on Tuesday for another 3 nights. Just out of curiosity, I pulled up my travel calendar from last year. I was gone 43 nights in 2009 and I wasn't even traveling for 4.5 months of that time! I'll admit, I did get to travel to some fun places, Hilton Head, Whistler BC, San Francisco, NYC and New Orleans to name a few. Although, I must say that traveling for work is never much fun even when you are in exciting places. I rarely have free time on the road, and when I do, I'm often so exhausted that all I want to do is crawl into bed. Seeing new sights and dining in yummy restaurants is never as much fun when you're alone!
The travel was certainly easier when I didn't have Madeline to worry about. I know Madeline and Brian do really well together when I'm gone--they have the daddy system worked out for everything from feedings to bedtime and I think it's great that they get to have some daddy/daughter time without me hovering. I think as she gets older, though, it's going to get harder and harder to be on the road. Already I feel like I miss so much when I'm gone. Brian reports she is now holding the bottle on her own, getting up on all fours more often and they made progress with sleeping through the night while I've been gone (I haven't really posted on the sleep issues, but she has regressed these past few months and hasn't been sleeping through the night anymore). I'm starting to worry that I'll be on the road when she hits big milestones, like when she crawls for the first time, takes her first steps, says 'mama'....It makes me sad to think I could miss those things!
I do enjoy my job most of the time and it has a lot of upsides. When I'm not traveling my schedule is often pretty light so I am able to pick Madeline up early and enjoy being with her during the late afternoons. The travel perks are a fun bonus--we're going on an essentially free trip to Hawaii in April using airline and hotel points for our travel and lodging. I never envisioned myself as a stay-at-home mom, so I know I'll always work, but I'm just starting to contemplate the travel more. I get a lot of calls from recruiters and I'm starting to contemplate applying for some of the positions. There is no guarantee that there would be less travel with a new position however, and I could find myself swamped with work while I am home. Nothing that I'm going to solve today...just thought I would ramble a bit. For now, though, I guess we will all get by and it's a reminder to enjoy my time with Madeline even more when I am home!
Both Brian and I have MLK day off, so hopefully we will find something fun to do over the long weekend. I'll try and post some pictures as I know both Grandmas need a little bit of their baby fix!
Happy Friday!
I know it must be hard leaving Madeline...it's soo hard to strike that balance between work and being mommy. I definitely am STILL working on finding that, almost 15 months in.
ReplyDeleteAs for your job searching, I'm sure you'll figure out what's best for you and the rest of the family.
When I get disgruntled with work, I try to remind myself that Baker will only be little once and I have the whole rest of my life to devote to my job. I also feel like I NEED to work, albeit just part-time right now, since it gives me confidence and a whole other outlet. When I feel guilty about leaving him, I remind myself that Baker needs me to be the best mommy I can be and that mommy just so happens to work.
Rambling, but Heather it all works out like it should. I know you're a fantastic mom!
Just wanted to add some sympathy. It's hard. I never know what the balance is, either.
ReplyDeleteMadeline is sure blessed with two fabulous parents, though.
Karen